The Old Way of Life

Comfort Obi

I thought I should get off politics this week and remind us of the old way of life. While doing that, I will tell you three stories, in case you didn't read, or hear about them. If you are like me, you must be bored by now with the many unbelievable ways of most of our politicians. You never open national dailies without being assaulted by stories of stolen billions of naira. You get to read stories of how people who were as poor as church rats, almost, suddenly became billionaires because they became politicians. Even when they have made it big, they are not satisfied.They steal more. When you hear of billions of naira, and yes, dollars, which some of these people steal from government treasuries, from inflated contracts, from brazen lies, you wonder if you are in the same country with them. In addtion, they steal everything from cutleries, bed sheets, towels, kitchen utensils, carpets, fridges, television sets, beds, window blinds, chairs, to just everything. You read the stories of some of their exploits, like I did the story of the nine aides of sacked Governor of Edo State, Oserhiemen Osunbor, and you just become so ashamed that your eyes almost close in shame. They were so cheap and greedy and thievish that they were looting even tea cups. And you wonder if Osunbor was aware of their exploits.
Each time I come across such shameful stories, I keep asking: Are these people from homes? What will they tell their parents, wives, husbands, children, brothers and sisters? If, as in the case of the Osunbor aides, they are caught red-handed and arrested, what will they tell their famiies. And that is the problem.
The family system in Nigeria has broken down. Not many people have any respect for their families. Not many think they owe any obligation to their families to live a clean life. I am a student of English Literature. While in school, I had the opportunity of reading a lot of African literature. And my favourite, and not just because it is now being celebrated, was Professor Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart. I loved the moral instructions enshrined therein. I admired Okonkwo’s hardwork and industry, which lifted him from a nobody, almost, to not only a wealthy man, but one of the most respected in his community, Umuofia. In that ficticious community, as was the case in most Nigerian communities, there was law and order. Families cared about their names. They avoided anything that would bring shame to them. They exposed bad children. They had them dragged before village heads to be cautioned. They never allowed their children to mix with bad characters. I guess it extended to when I was growing up. It is still difficult for me to keep women friends because my mother never encouraged it. She would go through my things before I went back to school, and after I returned. For the fear of my mum, I was cautious of the company I kept. Most parents did the same to their kids. No longer. Not even communities keep watch over their members. People of questionable wealth were not celebrated then. Parents asked their children to keep off such families. But all that changed in my early adult years. Not many parents care. Children are no longer asked questions. Even thieves and frauds are crowned traditional rulers. But in this madness, I have, in the past one month, read three stories which gave me hope and lifted my spirit.
Last month in Northern Nigeria, a father took his 20-year-old son to a court and asked the magistrate to jail him. His offence? The father said he was a criminal. He said he refused to go to school or do any work, or learn any trade. Yet, he survives. He wondered from where he gets his means of livelihood. The magistrate jailed the boy for six months and some lashes of the cane. Now, he would be forced to learn a trade while in jail, I am told by a northerner friend of mine.
The lesson here is simple. If most parents cared about the means of livelihood of their children, Nigeria will not be afflicted with millions of armed robbers. Indeed, what obtains is that many parents encourage their children to become armed robbers. They ask why they have not built houses or bought an array of cars like so and so person.
The second incident took place in a town called Obibiezena, Owerri North, Imo State. In one kindred, a youth matcheted to death another youth from the same kindred. While the youths in that kindred left him to be dealt with by the law, they rose in anger early the next morning, went to his family compound, sacked everybody, and burnt their houses and belongings. They have been sent on exile. Emphasised the youths: "We don’t want any families with murderous tendencies to live amongst us." The lesson: If more Nigerian communities, especially in the South, had such youths, the spate of murder and kidnap cases which has become our everyday life will reduce.
Now, the third one is a pathetic case, but it teaches a lesson all the same. As a member of the Police Service Commission, I have the, atimes difficult responsibility, of looking into the cases of policemen recommended by the Force Headquarters for disciplinary action. One of the cases we handled had my anger boiling over. A father took her stubborn teenage daughter to a police station to ask them to caution her. The first policeman he met at the station told him it was a family matter, and asked him to take his daughter home. At the police station’s gate, he met a police officer who asked him why he visited the station. He narrated his story, and the officer told him no problem, and asked him to leave his daughter for him for cautioning. Innocently, he did. And the unimaginable happened. The police officer took the girl, not to the station, but to his house. And raped her.
I know this ended on a sad note, but there is still a lesson to be learnt. How many parents take their stubborn children to the police for cautioning? If they did, it would help the society. The rape story was an aberration. With wild children, the police, traditional rulers and the Clergy are still our best bet.