Senator Gada & Co

Comfort Obi

I am not a feminist. I have never been oppressed because of my gender. I have been lucky. So, here I am, getting on beautifully with what I am doing, and enjoying being a woman.
Truth, however, is that I believe in what the Holy Bible says. I have always felt that the Bible gave men this feeling of 'superiority' over women. It had to be Eve, who put her husband, Adam, in trouble. The disciples of Jesus Christ were 12. And there was no single woman! One of the closest women to Jesus, Mary Magdalene, had to be presented as a prostitute. The consolation is that even at that, the Lord Jesus prefered her to most men. I agree that a man is the head of the family. But the ego trip some Nigerian men embark upon, especially in recent times, in their bid to present women as desperate, is getting on my nerves. And that is putting it mildly.
On Sunday, November 25, Senator Abubakar Umar Gada, while justifying his polygamous status which, by the way, I have nothing against, put women down. He told the Sunday Punch: “How can a 30-something or 40-something-year-old woman look for a husband when she could peacefully have shared the man with her mates under the same roof?” Good. Gada may have a peaceful home with his women, but it is not always a good story. I have seen polygamists who say never, if there is a next world, will they be afflicted by such a passion. And more important, not every woman is comfortable sharing a husband with a harem of others under the same roof. But if his opinion on sharing husbands rankles, his general opinion of women is even worse. When asked if he gets tempted (by women), his polygamous status not- withstanding, he compared women to the NASS building.
His words: “I humorously say that the commonest sight in the National Assembly after the edifice is women. I am still trying to figure out what they come there to do, especially, the non-members of staff. Though I would not describe my experience as temptation because it is a relative term, I’ve had some horrible experiences as a Senator at the NASS...” He says he is not gloating about such experiences, (some consolation!), but revealed:
“As a Senator, you will be surprised at how fast your phone numbers can get into the hands of women in Abuja. They will call you and beg you to listen. These are women you don’t know, and have never met. Curiousity could make you give them an opportunity to see you, and you can see married women, single and teenagers thronging your office.” I will get back to Gada’s submissions later, but let me give more examples of how men put women down publicly.
At an official dinner at the Sheraton Hotel, Ikeja the other day, a colleague of mine, in a bid to buttress how poverty has reduced Nigerians to nothing submitted: "I get phone calls and text messages from women, asking me to be their lover." My opinion: Those are star-struck teenagers. But he said nothing about young men who proposition women, asking to be their lovers! In deed, 10 minutes before his question, I was reading a text message sent to me by an obviously misguided young man asking to be my lover. “I don’t care whether you are married or not. I want to be your lover.” I receive dozens of such daily on my official phone.
At his first major press briefing as the Governor of Imo State, Ikedi Ohakim mentioned, in passing, his experiences with women. “They send text messages asking to be my girldfrends. And ask me: 'We hear they are importing girls for you from outside Owerri, is it that there are no beautiful girls in Owerri. Please, we are beautiful here too.'”
Now, I have no doubt at all that these gentlemen are getting pestered by a few star-struck, or loose women. But it is not a story to tell. Truth is, thousands of high profile women receive such propositions from men. They don’t discuss them, they laugh over them. I have always said that it is a man’s priviledge to make a pass at a woman. And it is a woman’s right to say yes or no. When a few women shamelessly make desperate passes at them, they should say either yes or no. There are many men who equally make such desperate passes at women.
But back to Senator Gada. It is amazing, and it does not matter how humorously he says it, that the commonest sight to him at NASS are women. His impression is that nobody invites them. I suggest he finds out. And not jump to conclusions. As for his phone numbers getting to women fast, he should tell us how come. My guess is: It is either he, or his friends, or his aides give them. If it is his friends or his aides, then, they must know why they do that. Perhaps they know he loves the calls. Curiousity, as Gada pointed out, cannot make a principled man or woman entertain uninvited visitors, especially when you don’t know them from Adam. You receive them when you are interested, otherwise, you refuse to see them. Case closed!
Finally, these things happen all over the world. Poverty and greed, or wanting to be associated with influential men and women can push one into doing stupid things – like the ones who pester Gada and co. What irks, however, is giving the impression that most women are into it.
That was my quarrel with a few men during the former Speaker of House of Representatives, Patricia Etteh's alleged scam. It became a benchmark for them to judge women. One priest, during a sermon, seriously said: “I would have been amongst the first to support, and root for a woman president. But with Etteh, I will never support it again in my life.”
Such chauvinist comment! How come we still support, and vote for men (as presidents and governors) even when most of them have stolen the country blind?