An Uncowed Spirit!

The insightful world of Kalu Inem Kalu, a Person Living With HIV/AIDS (PLWHA) who recently got wedded to another PLWHA, Ijeoma

By Chidiebere Onyemaizu

Inside the expansive premises housing the Nigerian Institute of Medical Research (NIMR), Yaba, Lagos, everything seemed serene and peaceful. However, in the various clinics and laboratories that form the component parts of the institute, the story is different. One needed no clairvoyancy to notice that the various units of the institute mentioned above were a beehive of human activities, so much so that virtually every one in sight - patients and medical personnel alike were engaged in one form of activity or the other: the patients especially eager to pour out sorrowful tales which burden their hearts owing to their poor health conditions.

Such was the scenario that confronted The Source on Friday, May 26 and June 27, 2006 respectively when it visited the HIV clinic of the Institute where Dr. Rosemary Anyanwu, a Research fellow with the institute holds sway as counsellor to HIV patients who throng the clinic for treatment. The Source was at the Institute to have a chat with a certain Kalu Inem Kalu, a Person Living With HIV/AID s (PLWHA), who stunned Nigerians recently when he publicly wedded a fellow PLWHA, Ijeoma and at the occasion, in the full glare of television cameras and guests declared that he and his newly wedded wife were indeed living with the HIV virus.

Following The Source 's request of meeting Kalu Dr. Anyanwu who served as the chairperson, organising committee, during his (Kalu's) wedding was later to reveal that the man in question (Kalu) is himself a HIV counsellor at the clinic.

Instructively, as soon as she (Dr. Anyanwu) sent for Kalu, The Source utilised the intervening period to have a birds eyeview of hundreds of other HIV patients seated in the clinic's hall, patiently waiting to be attended to. There were indeed, at a conservative estimate, more than 200 of them.

With the exception of a few who were visibly emanciated, the rest appeared quite strong and healthy - as healthy as any normal person, perhaps as an attestation to, and confirmation of the popular HIV advert slogan, "HIV/AIDS no dey show for face." Notably, the expressions on the faces of most of the PLWHAs did not in any way betray any emotion or give vent to the acidic fact that they, right there in the hall, were carrying in their blood streams, a deadly virus - one which many have come to regard as a death sentence. A virus which in all honesty, is capable of sending any infected person to an early grave if not properly managed; a hydra-headed monster that has so far defied western medical science and research.

And then, the realisation that the HIV pandemic is no respecter of age, gender or family structure and also a seeming confirmation of the fact that the disease is prevalent mostly among young people, stared The Source in the face when it stumbled on an array of infected people, especially young girls waiting for medical attention. A heart-rending case was the pitiable sight of a young school girl of about 15 years of age, unarguably the youngest of the lot, who was there, complete in her school uniform and in the company of a man who apparently is her father. Looking very sick, The Source's attempt to have a chat with her was met with a rebuff.

Also in the HIV clinic, waiting to be attended to was an elderly woman who cannot be less than 60. The far-away look in her face and the intermittent muttering of incomprehensible words bore testimony to the anguish which she apparently felt as a result of her health condition. Then came a couple who were both positive and who were there for treatment. The couple looked quite healthy and normal to the extent that neither of them betrayed any emotion.

The few who mustered courage to speak to The Source bluntly refused to divulge their names. They also warned that under no circumstance should their photographs be taken without their consent. In sum, however , they were unanimous in the opinion that being HIV-positive is afterall not a death sentence. One, they say, can still live a positive and productive life with the virus. According to them, the stigmatisation of HIV-positive persons is criminal, dehumanising and anti-human rights.

Instructively, Kalu, the subject of The Source's visit to N imr in the first instance shares this sentiment. But unlike his PLWHA counterparts who shielded their identities, he had no qualms announcing to The Source his names and that of his darling wife, as well as their HIV status. Hear him: "My name is Kalu Inem Kalu and my wife's names are Mrs. Gladys Ijeoma Kalu. We are both HIV-positive."

Looking quiet roboust, relaxed and fulfilled, Kalu fires a salvo at those who stigmatise PLWHAs. "The problem people are having is that they believe the things that are not true about HIV/AIDS. Even if it is only through sex that you can contract HIV/AIDS, do we sigmatise prostitutes... I mean known prostitutes? Those who are stigmatising people that have HIV/AIDS, do they know their own status? In most cases you find that they themselves are infected but they don't know they are," he said.

If anyone thinks being HIV-positive could adversely affect one's love life, then such a person needs a lesson from Kalu. In the modestly furnished Positive Living Organisation of Nigeria (PLON) secretariat, a Non-Governmental Organisation (NGO) crusading for the rights of PLWHAS and situated at the extreme left wing of the institute where The Source's interaction with Kalu took place and where his wife Ijeoma works, Kalu spoke amidst intermittent stealing of glances at his wife, who all the while was engrossed on the computer while the interraction lasted. Though the pretty lady pleaded fervently to be left out of the press interraction, that did not however stop her from occasionally nodding in affirmation to most of the things Kalu told The Source , with traces of smile permanently playing round her checks.

But then what really was the attraction? What did Kalu see in Ijeoma?, The Source inquired from Kalu who besides his job in the NIMR as HIV counsellor also doubles as the co-ordinator of PLON. He breathed a silent smile, fixed his gaze directly at Ijeoma and then in what appeared as an evident sense of affection and appreciation for his wife, Kalu in a emotion-laden voice enumerated to The Source the irresistible qualities Ijeoma possesses and which made him fell in love. "She (Ijeoma) is humble, obedient and hardworking. And she is also very fine," he said."

A visibly-shy Ijeoma took a questioning glance at her husband, the reporter and two other PLWHAs present - Ngozi and Vicky - and then smiled again - a smile that later metamorphosed into a hearty laughter. The rest of us, Ngozi, Vicky, Kalu and the reporter soon joined in the laughter.

Kalu later explained how he met Ijeoma. "I met her here in the clinic (NIMR) and the love stuck," he said, almost reminiscenscing.

Taking The Source back into his painful past, Kalu disclosed he started having problems with his health in 1990, shortly after he left secondary school. His health problem was later diagnosed to be tuberculosis (TB). So for more than a decade, Kalu was subjected to TB treatment. But rather than disappear permanently, the TB kept relapsing. However, it was not until 1999 that Kalu got to realise that he had all along been suffering from HIV and that the virus had all the while been masquerading as TB.

If anybody had expected that upon discovering his HIV-status, Kalu would recoil in self-pity and become inconsolable, a disappointment awaited such a person, for upon undergoing the HIV test in 1999 and discovering he had the HIV-virus, Kalu refused to narrow his world to the confines of sorrow and anguish. His words: "What immediately flashed through my mind was that the Almighty God in heaven will see me through the problem.. Because I know I will survive and I have survived. I didn't take it too bad."

A strong believer that being HIV- positive does not limit one's ambition and goal in life. Kalu's resilience in the face of the HIV odds has today paid off. Besides being happily married to a pretty lady, he is also pursuing a degree programme in Law from the National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN). Added to this is his regular job at the NIMR.

With an air of finality and his wife, Ngozi and Vicky nodding in affirmation, Kalu declared: "I resume work here at 8 am every day and sometimes close at 10pm, so being HIV-positive does not prevent you from working hard. It does not limit your vision, mission and ambition in life. For example, I am currently a law student at the Open University of Nigeria. HIV does not prevent you from becoming what you want to be in future."

Going back to the vexed issue of stigmatisation, Kalu has an advice for fellow PLWHAs: "Making my HIV- status public has cost me nothing. Nobody is stigmatising me. One should first conquer self-stigma before you will be able to come out. When you have conquered self-stigma, you will be able to conquer other stigma, that is others stigmatising you. I don't stigmatise myself because I know I am still the same person that I was before becoming HIV positive."

Again, Ijeoma stole a glance at her husband, while Ngozi and Vicky surveyed the reporter with measured dose of suspicion, especially when it (The Source) requested Ngozi to show to it (The Source) the two packets of anti-retroviral drug she was holding. However, in a show of solidarity and friendship, The Source warmly shook Ngozi's hand, extended the same treatment to Vicky and Kalu while he bid Ijeoma, who was busy with the computer a warm "good-bye," - assured that they were coping with gusto in a world that only a few years ago was as lonely as can be.